We can cling to more than just physical objects. At times we cling to ideas, thoughts, views and beliefs. As we continue to grasp, we may notice that our grip tightens. We experience fear at the thought of letting go of something we don’t possess.
This week I found myself clinging to certain ideas and hopes. I didn’t recognize the feeling at first, but even after it occurred to me, I didn’t let go right away. The thought of loosening my grip suddenly felt impossible. I tried to ignore it. And that’s when I realized I had gotten some ways down the path of illusion.
It seems like we’re living a more “polite” life when we don’t bring these thoughts into the light. But it’s OK. It’s OK to bring awareness to what we so desperately cling to at times.
When we get stuck and feel all tied up, that is a great opportunity to practice transparency. We can reflect on the strong pull of our clinging and how it serves our likes or dislikes. We can observe our fears and insecurities openly without judgment.
“Stillness, insight, and wisdom arise only when we can settle into being complete in this moment, without having to seek or hold on to or reject anything.” ~ From Wherever You Go There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn
When I realized I was clinging this week — and realized that I realized it (if that makes sense!) — I even imagined in my mind a tight fist loosening. I then felt myself loosen up and a heavy burden lifted from my chest. Tension released from my face. Wow, I felt true gratitude for the moment of freedom.
And it’s an ongoing journey. As I realize more about what I cling to, I feel resistance and fear. I feel my breathing get shallow. But when I let go, even though another part of myself wants to hold on, I do feel life flowing again naturally, and it’s amazing. More and more windows and doors open!
Do you feel comfortable enough to share your experiences or insights about letting go? If so, please do — we can all relate!!
Cheers, Jen
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Yes, I do find it difficult to let go. There is someone that I continue to cling to no matter the challenge, time or distance. The beacon continues to shine. The clarion continues to sound. However, I don’t think it clinging in the final analysis, I think it, love.
The most profound experience I ever had of letting go happened spontaneously, before I’d ever studied spirituality or meditated - in fact, it’s what got me going in that direction.
Long story short is that it was a “one with the universe” type experience that included a sense of my own dissolution into that larger context. It turns out that the Sufis - the contemplative branch of Islam (you never seem to hear about them in the news…) - even has a word for this: “fana.”
I believe for most of us, that learning to let go of attachment and stop clinging comes in layers. It’s that old metaphor of “peeling the layers of the onion.” I know there have been times I’ve judged myself harshly for not letting go “again,” for going “unconscious” and losing site of my intention with a particularly challenging person or issue. But that is our opportunity to learn compassion for ourselves as well as forgiveness, so I try to remember to be grateful for these challenges as they remind me to choose again. Thanks for the insightful post.
I have definitely found myself clinging to some ideas and hopes! Wow this post really brought that to light. I was a bit bummed this week about some work I haven’t moved forward on and just realized that I am trying too hard to move forward on it. I need to loosen up and let things happen, let the creative process out by calming the muddy waters and letting go of some hopes. Thanks so much for posting this!
I too am a beginner in mindfulness practice.
As I’m learning the path, I’m becoming more aware in the moment. Right now, these are but a few moments a day. Each day adds a few more.
I read your comment about transparency yesterday and it really helped me express last night to my spouse more directly and with greater kindness the feelings I am having about our family addiction issues.
In going through Al-Anon 12 steps, I’m wrestling with the self-assessment in a more constructive way. Mindfulness practice and following the breadth has opened this possibility to me in a more profound way.
Thank you for your writing.
Thank you all SO much for your comments!!
Eddie — You always have great comments, thank you. I thought a lot about what you wrote, and I started thinking that I feel that way about God. You’re right… maybe there is clinging, and then there is love.
Paul — That sounds interesting! It’s amazing how we have these experiences that just open our eyes wide and awaken us to a new way of seeing. Namaste!
Melody — Thank you for your insightful comment. I agree completely that it is a process that happens in layers. I’m still learning to just let go and loosen the grasp. It was nice to read your comment as a reminder
Hi Mike — Thanks for sharing. That happened to me too a few weeks ago in a writing class. Maybe I was trying to hard to come up with something, but I completely blanked with writer’s block. Loosening up and just letting go — the opposite of was the responsible thing to do — actually helped! Cheers to your success
In Need of Peace — I honor your commitment and practice. Transparency feels like such a challenge — and yet it breaks open our hearts — it helps us be. I wish you peace on your journey.
Thanks all. Blessings to you.