Have you ever experienced going about your day when something happens — a curve ball comes your way — and suddenly a certain unpleasant feeling swirls about inside, scattering your neat pile of leaves all around in the wind?
Though we feel like chasing away unpleasant feelings, it’s good to stick with them — breathing and observing. In these moments we can practice “letting go” so that we do not cling to or reject the feelings.
But what can we do when — despite our best intentions — we find ourselves overtaken by difficult emotions to the point we experience discomfort in the body?
In a Yoga Journal article, “Judgment Calls,” Sally Kempton writes about the difference between judgment and discernment, noting that when we experience unpleasant feelings, many times we move first to blame others or ourselves in an attempt to separate from the discomfort or “fix” the situation. But with discernment, we can stay with the discomfort without assigning blame, which helps connect us back to our truest, most authentic self.
It feels challenging to stay with unpleasant feelings, but in a way, what an amazing test and opportunity to practice mindfulness. When we constantly flee from unpleasantness, we remain in flight. Experiencing and embracing uncomfortable situations leads to learning and growth.
“If we face unpleasant feelings with care, affection, and nonviolence, we can transform them into the kind of energy that is healthy and has the capacity to nourish us. By the work of mindful observation, our unpleasant feelings can illuminate so much for us, offering us insight and understanding into ourselves and society.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Stay with it. I wish you peace.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Awesome post. Thank you!
What it brought up for me was reinforcing behavioral habits. When a strong negative emotion grabs hold we can choose flight from it, but if we do then the only thing we learn is how to run from feelings.
The other common reaction is fight. We can combat the feelings themselves, or as you pointed out direct the negative passion to an other. Here we only learn to hurt.
Mindfulness represents a third, and uniquely human possible response: to stay, to watch and to learn. Here we learn to be present.
Thanks for your comment Travis. I especially liked: “Mindfulness represents a third, and uniquely human possible response: to stay, to watch and to learn. Here we learn to be present.” Well said!
Still learning
Jen
Words of inspiration! I hope to continue to challenge myself to be mindful of my emotions at work where frustration and disappointment can often get the best of me. Working to convert the greatly negative into a tremendous positive, I’m convinced, is my life’s work. Still trying to reach my “authentic self” in the midst of “haters”! Easier said than done…may God be with all of us.