True friendships nourish us.
We all have friends, but how many good friendships do we actively participate in? Pointing out the fact that most of us have hundreds of “friends” on social media sites isn’t the point. As much as these tools help us all stay in touch, they don’t a true friend make.
Growing a true friendship with another takes time and effort, but the seeds you plant together can yield beautiful and nourishing fruit season after season. You both invest your time; you both invest your heart. You have someone to call in your darkest hours. You have someone to laugh with until you cry.
I started learning what it takes to grow a true friendship by falling short. I used to think if things didn’t work out, then the people around me probably weren’t true friends. I didn’t realize that just like any other relationship, friendships require compassion, patience and communication. Friendships can teach us. Friendships can humble us.
This brief post isn’t about how to build a friendship — for that I would suggest one word: love. But maybe just a reminder that it’s worth it to reach out and say hello to those people in our lives who have traveled with us.
As we grow and evolve, it’s more important than ever to keep reaching out and growing friendships — old and new. The exchange will feel different and more enriching each time. Face old friends with renewed love. Meet new friends with an open heart.
“To create a good community, we first have to transform ourselves into a good element of the community. After that, we can go to another person and help him or her become and element of the community.We build our network of friends that way.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
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Friendship is such an important and misunderstand concept. This blog focuses in on what it means to have a friend. Yes, too often on social media sites we can mistake an electronic connection with friendship. The two are not the same, not even close.
I have people I follow on Twitter that I know well. We chat back and forth and have gotten to know each other. Some of these individuals have ended up connecting with me on Linkedin and a few on Facebook. Since I reserve my personal FB page only for people that I know or am getting to know and like well, very few from more open social media will ever be on that page.
After reflecting on the 400 people I follow on Twitter, it occurred to me that while some might consider that a small number (based on the way people try to promote following), I realized this is a very large number of people. How well did I really know them? How was our connection beneficial to both of us? Where was our relationship going?
I realized that for me, Twitter is a networking tool. It is a way for me to find other people where there is some benefit in our knowing each other. Over time, some of those relationships will develop into business or even personal friendships that may cross over into the real world.
So I decided to go back and revisit every single person I was following on Twitter. I go to their profile and read what they are posting. I retweet one of their post. I reply to something they have said. I felt I had to do something to keep the focus on relationship building as opposed to numbers.
Whether virtual or real world, ultimately, it’s all about relationships…friendship.
Hi, Jen! Great post! Friendships are SO important, and if there’s one thing I’ve figured out — it’s that they need time and withstand time. I believe friendships need a bit of time (more time the older you get) — meaning you have to give each other time to open up and trust, and put yourselves in conversations that can do so. And I also believe real friendships withstand the test of time, meaning the “real” ones really do hang on forever. I have so many girlfriends from high school (talk about withstanding time!) and we’ve gone through DECADES of not being able to get together — you know, babies, moving, toddlers, PTA busy-ness, etc. — but when we do re-connect, it’s like no time has passed at all. That’s always an awesome feeling to me to know that these are truly friends for life!
But I love meeting new friends, too. Sometimes you just feel a real connection right away, and you think this is someone who I can be on the same wavelength with for a very, very long time. (Like you!) : )
Nice blog. It always feels uplifting!